The title of this blog refers to things I was thinking about on my way back from our weekend trip to Dublin. As our last week here in Letterkenny (and Ireland altogether) begins, our time will be consumed with finishing up the last of our projects. On my personal do-do list: final narrative script revisions, interview transcripts, visual appendix, documentary script, print papers, and binder presentation. Along with this list, I have my non-school-related to-do list: purchase final souvenirs, buy new suitcase to transport said souvenirs, use up all food and supplies in the apartment, pack, get bus ticket, and have one more amazing family hang-out time. Still, with all of these things that should take priority and hold my attention at the present, my mind chooses to wander elsewhere. I find myself drifting back and forth between fond remembrances of the past five weeks and how I will readjust to “normal” life once I am back home. I think about our group and how we’ve bonded and grown closer every day. “Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better? Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.” -Wicked
*Maybe I’ll sing that song (“For Good”) at karaoke on Wednesday. Don’t tell anyone, okay?
So the memories of the past are great, but they present an uncertainty about the future. Where do we go from here? Who will understand a reference to an inside joke when we are all separate from each other? What happens when I need a group to go to karaoke with? Who will play kickball with me in the parking lot, or put up with my music selections, or help me think of a third thing when I’m listing stuff? These things may seem silly, but they are all legitimate questions that I have and wonder/worry about. For the rest of the group, the answer is simple: they’ll all be back at OU in September and can hang out then. I, however, will be spending my fall quarter in Los Angeles for an internship. I just made some really great friends, and now I won’t be able to see them for five months. I assume that we’ll text and skype, but this is obviously way different from being able to walk across the hallway, knock on the door, wait for Christina to answer the door in her pajamas, and ask what everyone is going to wear that evening. I can’t just lean out of my apartment balcony and talk to the people just coming back from town. Maybe I am just way too sentimental about this kind of stuff. “People always leave, right?” -Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill.
Anyway, I’ve changed, my situation has changed, and I’m going back to people and places that have generally stayed the same… or expect me to be the same. So who will I be upon my return? I’m pretty good at adapting to different situations, and I may involuntarily return to my former self. Do I want to do that? I’m not sure. Don’t get me wrong, the changes aren’t drastic or necessarily even noticeable from the outside. It’s an internal evolution that has allowed me to grow up a bit. “So what do I say to these faces that I used to know? ‘Hey, I’m home?'” – Nina, In The Heights
These are the things I thought about as I sat on the bus from Dublin to Letterkenny. I also tried to sleep by resting my head on the seat in front of me… and now I have a bruise on my forehead, so read into that what you will. I have about four more days left. Souvenir shopping is almost complete and my projects still need some work, but who can focus on tangible things when all of this other gunk is floating around in my head? I guess I’ll just have to take it one day at a time and see what actually happens when I get back. See you all in about a week! “Dont you know things will change? Things will go your way if you hold on for one more day.” – Wilson Phillips
Check Facebook for some pictures from Dublin!
OU Ireland 2011 